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How to make the hardest changes in life for exponential success

The hardest changes to make in your life do not require physical exertion. They require mind shifts which are much harder to accept and effect. Until this point in life, you may have believed that saying "Sorry, I was wrong. I made a mistake" is the hardest thing to do in life. I have news for you. Admitting your mistakes is a walk in the park compared to what you will have discovered after reading this article.

Here are the hardest things to do in life, and how you can do them.

1. Be yourself don't default to follow your peer group, mentors, or your family figures but strike out on your own and consciously carve out your future. You first have to discover that you are on a unique path before you can fully realize the importance of being yourself. Learn from the people that you admire, and then apply their teachings and advice to move along your own path.

It is hard to strike out on your own against the advice of your family and mentors, but you need to do it if you are going to blaze new trails and lead your tribe. We all want to be like other people even when we realize that what they are doing is not what we should be doing. Take heart you will find satisfaction on the trail when you look back are realize that the trail you blazed helps others who can now follow your trail.

The starting point for new trails is for you to be yourself and not allow your fears to dampen your instincts. Step up, and do what you are called to do. You will find a sense of peace after you have overcome the initial fear of stepping out of the crowd and support from people that you never expected would support you.

2. Accept it when you need to work harder. We all believe that we are working hard. The fact is that sometimes you are just not measuring up to the bar and need to be told to work harder in order to get what you want. It is hard to accept the fact that you are not producing enough. Listen carefully to this feedback only if it is coming from a trusted advisor and accept it. Then get to work and improve the areas where you need to work harder to beat your competition. Like any good 12-step program "Admittance is the first step" towards recovery.

3. Learn to ask questions instead of making statements. Take note of your conversation. How much of the time are you asking questions and how much of the time are you communicating by making statements? It is more productive and much harder to communicate by asking questions of other people in conversation. Ask people about their problems and allow them to think about solutions by asking questions like "How have other people solved this problem".

You learn more from asking questions than making statements in conversation and dramatically improve your personal and professional relationships. How much do you learn when I say "This is the way", versus me asking "What is the way for you?"

4. Learn how you learn. Identify and study your learning style. How do you learn fastest? Then apply your knowledge so that you learn new skills most effectively with the least effort. Find a free test on the internet to help you identify how you learn best, including auditory, visual and kinesthetic learning styles.

Take mental notes of you how learn new information at work. Do you learn when someone sends you an email, when you attend a training workshop, or when you discuss it in a meeting after having studied the document? Adapt your environment to fit your learning style and you will increase your effectiveness. Seek ways to gather new information in your preferred learning style.

5. Challenge basic assumptions. Who says that your version of "Common Sense" is acceptable for other people? If it was "common sense", then why is it so uncommon? Assumptions that you believe may be completely wrong, but you won't change them until you challenge them. For example, you may believe that you struggle financially because your employer doesn't pay enough salary.

Yet you have never challenged the assumption that you have to be employed in order to earn money. What if your basic assumption is faulty and you have other opportunities to earn significantly more income? It is hard to believe in a different assumption from what everyone in your office, family and peer group believes in. Yet, the most personal growth occurs when you challenge your basic assumptions you may be taking for granted assumptions that are completely inaccurate, and limiting your income as well as your dreams.

If you find that your current beliefs and assumptions are not providing the results that you want, then you need to challenge them work with your professional coach to identify these and create new assumptions and beliefs that will serve you appropriately.

6. Renorm your standards and expectations. After your reach your goals, and begin to live your dream life, you realize that your vision is no longer inspiring you. You need to change your norms and create larger visions with higher standards for yourself.

For example, when I wanted to publish my first book, I stood in awe of other authors. Then after it was published, I needed to set higher standards because the author of one book was no longer a motivation for me. I needed to get used to the fact that I am also an author of one book and set my sights on publishing five books as a larger target. Your standards and expectations serve you well as you work towards goals. However, after you have reached your goal, you need to create larger visions and higher standards in order to make progress towards you next goal.

It is hard to accept that your old standard and expectations are no longer relevant. Although they feel comfortable, you must let go of your old standards if you want to continue growing. Renorming and adaptation are ongoing, continual processes.


There you have it. Making these personal changes is hard for you and everyone that has ever attempted to make them. The payoff for making these changes is a life of ever-increasing joy and higher levels of experiences. The choice is yours make the changes or stay the same as you are for the rest of your life.
Copyright 2018 Wayne Botha Email Wayne Cell: 860.214.4897