How to proceed when you are stuck and can't "Just do it"
Have you ever had a goal that you can't achieve?
You try to lose those ten pounds, but can't bring yourself to choke down
another bowl of salad. You want to write your first (or next book), but
the weeks and months fly by with nothing on paper. You want to create a
habit of personal quiet time for meditation each morning, yet you still
oversleep. You keep saying to yourself "I must get out there and do it".
"I will try harder next week". "No matter what it takes, I will pay the
Yeah right! The fact is that if you could just "...
get out there and do it", then you would have done it and this would not
be an issue for you.
As a coach, my ears perk up when I hear the phrases
above. Words such as "just do it" are prime indicators that you are
facing an obstacle, don't know how to get around it, and think that you
need to keep on doing the same things to get a different result. I bet
that you will get the same result if you keep on doing what you are
doing now. You are stuck and need a fresh approach if you are going to
make any progress.
Forcing yourself harder to do something which
isn't working for you, sure doesn't sound like fun, does it? You will be
even more frustrated when you fail yet again, so stop trying to "just do
it". Go and look in the mirror and say to yourself "just doing it isn't
doing it for me".
The fastest way to stop saying "just do it", and
move to "got it done", is to work with your professional coach. An
abbreviated conversation should go something like this:
You: "I don't know what is wrong with me. I
know that I can get up 15 minutes earlier each morning to meditate, yet
I can't get up in the morning. I am going to set my alarm even earlier
and just do it".
Coach: "What held you back from meditating
You: "I don't know. I just didn't feel like
Coach: "How would you feel if you were
looking forward to meditating?"
You: "I would feel inspired, and looking
forward to getting up early and savoring the peace of the new day".
Coach: "What would make you feel like this
You: "I would be calm before I go to bed
tonight. I would prepare my place for meditation, with my reading and
have a clear desk before I go to bed tonight".
Coach: "Can you do that this evening?"
You: "YES. This is what was holding me
back. I need to prepare the night before".
Every time someone says "I am going to just put
myself out there", or "I am just going to do it", you know they won't
(using the same logic as before, if you were going to do it, then we
would not be having this conversation). If you truly want to reach the
goal , then you will have to look deeper in order to move forward.. Work
with your coach. Find out why you are not "just doing it" now. Look for
a pragmatic change that you can make in your approach so that you can
get it done, without telling yourself to "just do it".